Are you dating that heckler, naysayer, fearful person? The heckler/lover hopes to make you fearful enough about interchanges with the world and people to share his/her tiny existence.
Keep these things in mind
- you existed and completed goals prior to meeting shim.
- a person who criticizes all of your goals and ways in which you plan to execute them is fearful about tackling his or her own goals. You provide a distraction from shim's sense of failure, inertia or inability to follow through.
- this person is also very insecure about being in a relationship with a person who appears to be on the road to self-actualization as opposed to just getting through the day.
- the need to control everyone and everything is not an expression of bravado or a sense of superiority; it's fear. Fearful people are very often afraid of people and their actions, so they choose to be in environments over which they can exert control. They don't socialize very much.
Anxiety, a need to control others and a fearful nature often lead to agoraphobic behavior -- refusing to leave the safety of home.
- this personality adds a lover to shim's life as a healthier person might add an end table. Shim wants you to share in the fearful lifestyle.
If you are seeking a partner with whom you can socialize and travel the world -- outside of a planned tour bus scenario with a guide, this is not the character for you.
This personality is attracted to gutsy people because shim hopes to be more daring, but, most of the time, the heckler is too afraid to change and attempts to whittle the brave down a couple of sizes.
Writing exercise:
What did I learn from a relationship with a heckler?
What did I have to defend in arguments with the heckler?
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