Communication skills for muthafuckas who don't know how to talk to nobody Odilia Rivera Santos

Listening or waiting to talk? Telling lies to shorten a dispute/conversation

How a person defines 'communication skills' really says a lot about his/her character. 

If you wait for your turn to speak, you're not listening-- this method reminds me of girls, waiting, with bodies swinging to and fro, on a line to jump into the double dutch ropes. 

Is it my turn? Is it my turn?

If you use language to convince someone to do what you want and what benefits you, you are self-serving and manipulative.

If you lie in order to end a conversation quickly, get caught in a lie and tell another lie to cover up the original lie and the lies pile up like a catastrophic car wreck, and you are over the age of fifteen, you will be viewed as emotionally disturbed or emotionally stunted -- either one is not nice. The tremendous  amount of time and energy needed to keep all the lies afloat could be used to do something meaningful like finding out why you can't connect with another human being or volunteer work at a soup kitchen. You might want to explore what triggers immature behavior.

If you say what the other person wants to hear, you will come across like a very insecure person who doesn't deem himself/herself lovable. (Insert therapy here; don't bring this hot mess into your relationship)

Best Practices for Destroying a Relationship

Labels are a great way to insure someone tells you to go fuck yourself and never speaks to you again.

Big ticket items in the area of labels: Ignorant, Lazy, Unmotivated, Racist, Bigot, Mamón, etc.

There's something particularly annoying about having someone slap a label on you, and I've never seen an antidote -- this is the snake bite that kills.

There are a lot of ways to argue, disagree or have a heated debate without name-calling,the definitive stamp of disapproval.

Communication Skills 101

1. Date someone you admire and respect

2. Say what you want in a concise manner -- you're not getting paid by the word. A long rambling explanation of a simple fact prolongs discomfort in an uncomfortable conversation.

Saying 'to make a long story short' makes the story long -- that's seven extra syllables no one needed to hear. Some conversations should be closer to a haiku then The Iliad.

3. Be honest about what you want. You have to be a grownup to say what you really want. 

Sit by yourself and write it out on a big piece of paper with a crayon: 

WHAT DO I WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP?

You might discover you don't want a relationship and you just agreed to be in one to be polite. Maybe, you just want a short-term contractual worker who'll put up with your idiosyncratic nonsense for 1 to 3 months with the possibility of a semi-permanent part-time position.

4. Listen. If you don't know how to listen, watch the death bed scenes of twenty movies per week -- listen like that.

5. Don't bring anyone, who's not in the room, into the conversation

6. Always remember, unless you have a spiritual connection with your significant other, he or she isn't really significant and is replaceable. This is one I'll leave for you to mull over.