Love Post #3 - is there an all-pervasive LOVE ADD?

by Odilia Rivera-Santos

Indecisive? I don't know am I? I can't decide
Being present in one place and/or being still with a decision is difficult for some. You've met the type who is restless at a party for fear there's a better party, changes his or her shoes five times even if it's a simple trip to the supermarket and feelings of indecision extend to the person's love life. The indecisive is overly concerned about what his or her date says about his or her life, if they look 'right' together, if the previous relationship ended the way it should have, etc. I wondered for a while what this was about and finally realized indecisiveness across a broad array of topics is plain old insecurity with some attention deficit disorder mixed in. Jumping into something new before sorting out the previous relationship is a sure-fire way to never get to know one's self and how one functions romantically. Sometimes, you have to throw caution to the wind and wear the first pair of shoes you put on and go to the supermarket and hope they really were the right choice for those jeans.

The LOVE exit interview
Sometimes, what you thought was love was just infatuation with a twist -- the twist being a lot of unnecessary boring arguments or it might have been love but not a viable one. Adults should be able to exit a relationship in a reasonable way -- maybe not in your teens or twenties, but one would hope couples would master the breakup by age thirty.
Thirty is the right age to begin breaking up in a cordial fashion without yelling, a rehash of past events or stupid threats. I mean, after all, in Western culture, what matters most is your work life. We ascribe all sorts of values to our work and some of us speak of having a 'mission' in life or some other high-pressure language. Love, marriage and forever togetherness is not what it used to be. Sometimes, you gotta let go

LOVE ADD
Those afflicted with all-pervasive LOVE ADD cannot break up, stay together, stop communication or patch things up; it's a strange stalemate of getting together for a casual non-committal conversation that turns into sex that turns into old demands and old arguments. The LOVE ADD person is indecisive about ending a relationship and continually questions whether the reason of ending the romance was valid and the second guessing follows into the next relationship with a new person. It's always a bad idea to not be present in a relationship, especially at the beginning.
There is plenty of time for disengaging later.
Face it, some people are attracted to each other for very unhealthy reasons. Sometimes, a person dates someone to not think about his or her own life and its myriad problems. Pointing a finger is the cornerstone of every horrible romance.
It is never good for a couple to be in a standoff to see which is more dysfunctional because it is just a ploy to avoid one's own messes. When someone finally wakes up, there is the realization that beyond arguing and pointing, there's not much on which to base the relationship. Conversations no longer contain interesting tidbits about a film, art exhibit, news story or a project on which one is working -- talking revolves around doing repairs around the relationship and citing what is wrong or missing.

All relationships work out, unless someone is injured of course. The question is how long does a relationship have to last and are expectations realistic. . . damn, I should've worn my white high-tops.

https://mobile.twitter.com/account